If you have been wondering why I have not been writing lately, it's not that I've been doing anything that productive. On the contrary, I was preparing for what turned out to be a tortuous Legend of the Five Rings tournament (termed a Kotei) this past weekend.

I did guess how the weekend was going to turn out. That I actually went ahead with it is probably a testament to my idiotic optimism. Even so, I did not anticipate the degree to which vastly different outcomes depended on the smallest decisions. Almost like butterflies causing hurricanes. I say almost, because it was all luck.

Hence, even though many will call it a learning experience (and I did learn a couple of things too), I still think I would've spent my time more fruitfully by burning the money I've spent on the game and flogging myself repeatedly with one of those flails in Mel Gibson's presumptuous Passion of the Christ.

Without saying, in the grand scheme of things all this is nothing compared to the sheer madness out there. But my regrets twisted like knives in flesh, and the pain is not all gone yet.